Heart Shaped Glasses
by Officially Retired
Summary: A songfiction in which Xelloss finds himself between a rock and another rock! Slight Lime tint... XelFi pairing... COMPLETED!


_**Disclaimer: I do not own The Slayers or the song ****Heart Shaped Glasses**__**… I'd Be A Whole Lot Richer If I Did Though!**_

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* * *

_

_So this was for V-day... but I have something else cooking for that, besides..._

_Well..._

_You remember **Moon June Soon**?_

_Heh, well if you do, this one is a lot like that one._

_If you don't, well, after this you'll know if you want to read it ne?! **(nn)** _

_Enjoy!_

_- Nicci_

* * *

**Heart Shaped Glasses; Lyrics By Marilyn Manson:** A Song Fiction in which Xelloss forms a rather distracting relationship for which Lord Beastmaster punishes him severely and orders him to do something about it. Xelloss reflects on the situation and decides to make a choice; well he tries anyway…

* * *

Zelas smiled a coy, wolfish smile and Xelloss swallowed softly.

He was in trouble.

The Greater Beast blew out a thin ring of smoke fixing him with a single arched brow.

"So it seems you've taken a lover..." She stated calmly.

Oh yes, _big_ trouble...

* * *

_She reminds me of the one in school ... _

* * *

"Hai Mistress." He replied, an army of sweatdrops invading his brow.

They were staking their claim, seems a lot of things were doing that these days.

His Mistress arched the other brow...

And then they narrowed...

Trouble didn't even begin to cover it.

How unfortunate...

She always had been the jealous type.

* * *

_When I was cut and she was dressed in white..._

* * *

He wondered idly if perhaps he could have done something to prevent this unfortunate scene.

But then, he'd always known it would some to this.

Him, kneeling at her feet, her scowling down at him, assuredly thinking of the many tortures she could put him through.

How very, very, unfortunate...

* * *

_And I couldn't take my eyes off her..._

* * *

"Xelloss..." She stated softly, her tone one of controlled fury.

"You know I don't like to share..."

Xelloss smiled wanly, lifting a finger.

"Perhaps we could arrange something between the three of us!" He offered hopefully.

* * *

_But that's not what I took off that night..._

* * *

She left one eyebrow raised as she poured herself a glass of wine and he pursed his lips with a small pout.

"No... I suspected not..." He sighed.

Zelas smiled another wolfish smile. "Am I not enough for you, darling?"

* * *

_And she'll never cover up what we did with her dress, no..._

* * *

Xelloss winced, offering her a small half smile as he let out a small titter.

"Um..." He replied with an uneasy shrug. "Sore wa himitsu desu?"

Two brows again...

Not good...

* * *

_She said: "Kiss me, it'll heal but it won't forget..."_

* * *

"Drop her." She ordered calmly.

She took another sip, appraising his pained expression with a frown.

"Is that a problem?" She asked, her voice dangerously loaded.

And yet so soft... she was always so soft...

Not like **_Her_** at all...

He wondered which tone he hated more...

* * *

_"Kiss me, it'll heal but it won't forget..."_

* * *

He fidgeted nervously and she pursed her own lips...

No, that really wasn't the question was it?

No, the question was which tone did he love more...

Heh, love... such a funny word...

After all... in the end love had very little to do with it...

Now lust, well... that seemed a bit more appropriate of a term.

Oh, but she wanted an answer didn't she?

They both did... that was how he'd ended up in this mess to begin with...

* * *

_I don't mind you keeping me on pins and needles..._

* * *

"Xelloss..." She purred warningly and he let out a defeated sigh.

"Not yet..." He replied tiredly. "But I'm sure it will be..."

Zelas smiled another wolfish grin.

"Good. It'll be more fun that way..."

* * *

_If I could stick to you and you stick me, too..._

* * *

Xelloss glowered at her darkly and she let out a liquid chuckle.

"Tick, tock... Xelloss..." She murmured, taking a lengthy drag and blowing it out.

"Tick, tock..."

* * *

_Don't break, don't break my heart..._

* * *

Hmm... she seemed to be taking this better than he'd thought... wait... damn...

... And she'd really liked that vase too...

Hmm... well there goes the pottery half of the Maces and Vases shoppe.

Not good...

"Now, Filia..." He protested waving his hands in front of himself anxiously. "This is hardly my fault, I told you what would happen if you told Lord Beastmaster about us, you were the one who thought honesty was the best policy."

He ducked the mace and glowered at her childish response. "No. I wouldn't! I don't lie, Filia. I just don't always say things that don't need to be said. This is exactly why!"

* * *

_And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses..._

* * *

Hmm... more maces... of course... giving there surroundings she had a lot of ammo, didn't she?

This wasn't how he wanted this to go at all...

Why had he had to start this mess to begin with.

Filia scowled up at him darkly, her hands easily finding another mace.

Oh yes... that was why...

She was just so cute when she was mad!

* * *

_Little girl, little girl you should close your eyes..._

* * *

"Filia..." He stated calmly, his eyes opening calmly as she came charging at him, a mace in each hand. "Calm down. I'm sure we can't think of something..."

She wasn't having it, and with a mighty roar the dragoness charged.

He couldn't help but grin.

* * *

_That blue is getting me high..._

* * *

He hadn't _meant_ too...

Her lips were just kissable when there were peeled back in a snarl...

Her clothes, so very easy to dismantle when she was fighting to be released...

Her hair so easy to pull when she was clawing at his eyes.

He left the boots on though, he liked the feel of the heels when she kicked at him...

Hmm... Lord Beastmaster wasn't going to like this...

No... not at all...

But he just couldn't help it!

* * *

_Don't break, don't break my heart..._

_And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses..._

* * *

_Little girl, little girl you should close your eyes..._

* * *

She was asleep now, oh so gracefully sprawled out across the floor between the pottery shards and discarded maces.

Honestly, how could Lord Beastmaster expect him to give amusement like this?

* * *

_That blue is getting me high..._

* * *

Hmm... maybe he could find an alternate meaning for "Drop"...

Like off a mountain!

That wouldn't be disobeying orders!

* * *

_Making me low..._

* * *

Aw... now she was snoring!

Loud, dragoness snores...

Oops, little torrent of fire there, he'd have to stamp that out...

* * *

_That blue is getting me high..._

* * *

Calmly, he smiled down at the sleeping dragoness and lifted her like the delicate princess she was...

* * *

_Making me low..._

* * *

And dropped her in a river far off path into the Forest of No Return...

As she yelled quite a few un-dainty obscenities up at him and he could help the nostalgic grin that tugged on lips...

Nor the greyscale flashback...

Hmm, that was odd.

* * *

_She reminds of the one I knew... _

_That cut-up the negatives of my life..._

* * *

Tea time, fun time, after fun brawls...

He hadn't changed, she hadn't changed...

He really didn't see what the big deal was.

But then again, he knew didn't he?

It was about loyalty, and he was Zelas'...

Even if they hadn't been close in _that_ way in quite some time...

Those had been fun times too, though... heh...

He'd just have to work out an arrangement...

* * *

_I wouldn't take my hands off her..._

* * *

He grinned, sweeping down and grabbing up the soaking and clawing dragoness.

Neither female was terribly pleased when he phased them into Lord Beastmaster's throne room.

He didn't really care though.

Besides, it was just so much fun to watch!

Well, until Filia tried to attack his Mistress with a mace and Zelas swiftly put her in a headlock.

Honestly, it had been foolish on the Dragon Maiden's part but did Lord Beatmaster really have to tug on her ears like that?

Hmm... he should probably do something...

But not yet, it was best to let them get it out of their system!

* * *

_She wouldn't let me be anywhere but inside..._

* * *

"Fine!" Zelas growled, rubbing her swore jaw and tossing the dragoness to the floor.

She tossed the handful of golden locks she had pulled out after her as an afterthought and sat back down with recollected dignity as Filia held her sore head and glowered up at her, glancing forlornly at the golden bushel.

* * *

_I don't mind you keeping me on pins and needles..._

* * *

"A physical relationship won't be that big of a distraction, I suppose..." She stated liquidly, summoning a glass and a cigarette.

"Hmm..." Xelloss stated, tapping a finger to his chin as he went over all possible meanings of the word "physical". "I can work with that, I suppose!"

Zelas arched a brow.

"Fine." She muttered, knowing he had something cooking in that warped little mind of his but not caring enough to ask. "But I come first!"

* * *

_If I could stick to you and you stick me, too..._

* * *

"And I'm not a toy." Filia added, standing to her feet.

* * *

_Just don't break, don't break my heart..._

* * *

Xelloss grinned easily. "Come now ladies! You know me!"

* * *

_And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses..._

* * *

Nearly identical glowers met this statement and his grin tightened, another army of sweatdrops preparing to invade.

Such demanding women...

* * *

_Little girl, little girl you should close your eyes..._

* * *

Filia, so prim and innocent...

* * *

_That blue is getting me high..._

* * *

Okay... not so innocent...

* * *

_Don't break, don't break my heart..._

* * *

Hmm... on second thought, was this really such a good idea?

* * *

_And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses..._

* * *

I mean, this could really go badly for him...

* * *

_Little girl, little girl you should close your eyes..._

* * *

And yet...

* * *

_That blue is getting me high..._

* * *

Well, that glower was really starting to get to him already...

* * *

_Making me low..._

* * *

Hmm... hers too...

* * *

_That blue is getting me high..._

* * *

Maybe... a secondary arrangement could be made?

Oh, but that was definitely not a good idea!

If anything that was a very, very _**bad**_ idea...

Hmm, quite bad... hmm...

Bad...

* * *

_Making me low..._

* * *

"I know that look, Xelloss..." Zelas cut in dangerously.

Xelloss grinned sheepishly.

"What look?"

* * *

_She'll never cover up what we did with her dress, no..._

* * *

"I do too!" Filia accused haughtily.

Xelloss grinned wanly. "Oh dear... well it's just..."

* * *

_She said: "Kiss me, it'll heal but it won't forget... Kiss me, it'll heal but it won't forget,"..._

* * *

Hmm, he didn't like that look...

No, he should have just kept his mouth shut...

Oh my, what were they thinking?

* * *

_I don't mind you keeping me on pins and needles..._

* * *

Zelas smirked wolfishly.

"Fine." She replied calmly, arching a brow naughtily.

"I'm certain we both know just how to deal with this..."

* * *

_If I could stick to you and you could stick me, too..._

* * *

Filia grinned. "I'll get the shackles!"

"Er... what?" Xelloss asked wearily.

* * *

_Just don't break, don't break my heart..._

* * *

"Hm, yes." Zelas agreed in bemusement. "He has been a bad boy, hasn't he?"

"Wait..." Xelloss protested warily, waving his hands nervously. "I... this isn't..."

* * *

_And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses..._

* * *

Oh my...

That was a really big whip...

* * *

_Little girl, little girl you should close your eyes..._

* * *

He glanced pleadingly at the pair, each shackling a different wrist.

"Come on... I mean... can't we just cuddle!"

* * *

_That blue is getting me high..._

* * *

Guess not...

Hmm, who knew that Filia and Zelas-sama had the same grin?

Maybe that was just something he brought out in people...

* * *

_Don't break, don't break my heart... _

_And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses..._

* * *

Well, even though this wasn't how he'd imagined it...

Mission accomplished!

Lord Beastmaster was happy!

* * *

_Little girl, little girl you should close your eyes..._

* * *

Filia was quite happy!

And laughing a little _too_ much at his discomfort...

* * *

_That blue is getting me high..._

* * *

Hmm, he wasn't really on the good end of all this, now was he?

* * *

_Making me low._

* * *

Hmm, on second thought...

He totally was...

But he wasn't about to tell them that!


End file.
